Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
