The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
