He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
