The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
