I have demons in me.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
