So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
