I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
