you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
