What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
