Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
