I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
