well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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