if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The best revenge is premature balding
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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