this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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