you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
