Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
