Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
