I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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