Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
