Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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