Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
