is your mom at the bar?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
