Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
