you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
