I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
