i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
