Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
