I puked a lego.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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