is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Can I color on your dick again?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
