You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
