i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
