He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
