you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
