no, he came in my armpit
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
