Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
