please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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