I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
