yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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