I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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