This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
