life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
