happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
