when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
