she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
