Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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