So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
