i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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