We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
