Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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