Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
