I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
