I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
