i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
