do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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