You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
