You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
