Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
