OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize