Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Terrible idea I love it
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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